


destination snoresville, a peaceful logging camp nestled deep in the egbertian nasal passages

by Solitarysynonym



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Nightmares, Yellow Yard, golden ship, retcon John original timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solitarysynonym/pseuds/Solitarysynonym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Davesprite frets about how little sleep Jade and John are getting on the golden ship as a direct result of nightmares and decides to do something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	destination snoresville, a peaceful logging camp nestled deep in the egbertian nasal passages

**Author's Note:**

  * For [digimaniac33](https://archiveofourown.org/users/digimaniac33/gifts).



> For Betapalooza 2015 with the prompt: 
> 
> "Something set on the golden ship (either timeline is fine - you know, the one which resulted in retcon John or the one that resulted in LOWAS exploding), in which Jade and John get all romantical. Including Davesprite is fine but not required. You can also go for angst or fluff on this one (or make it a swirl of both, if that is what you so desire)."
> 
> This began as more of a warm up exercise than anything but when Davesprite became the narrator it spun wildly out of control and grew into this wonderful thing. Ended up more fluff than romantical but hopefully entertaining and satisfying!

Davesprite: so I guess sprites dont sleep  
Davesprite: or eat  
Davesprite: not that youd know it the way nannasprites always baking up a storm  
Davesprite: i guess i dont really miss sleeping  
Davesprite: even before this ship sleeping hasnt been the same since we got into the medium  
Davesprite: what with the ol dreamself and all making every sleeptime just more worktime  
Davesprite: i guess maybe i do miss it  
Davesprite: although not really the way that these two are doing it  
Davesprite: these two are bad at sleeping  
Davesprite: all that tossing and turning and muttering and mumbling and kicking and throwing stuff and windblasts and stuff  
Davesprite: i guess its kind of worrying  
Davesprite: i wish i was sleeping through it this standing over them while they toss and turn and whimper and shit is really wearing on me  
Davesprite: but waking them up just doesnt even help either  
Davesprite: i wish i could fix it 

He realized he was monologuing again and stopped himself as he drifted down the darkened hallway. Well as darkened as things ever got on this fucking luminous golden pile of spacejunk. 

Jade and John were having yet another restless night and he couldn’t resist the urge to peer in at Jade (John, having not grown up on Hellmurder island alone but for a teleporting dog, was better about keeping his door clicked shut and was therefore slightly harder to peer in at). 

Her new dog ears were laid back, teeth bared in a silent snarl. Well no not exactly silent, her legs pedaling like a dog’s under her covers. There was something very endearing about that. 

One of many advantages to being a sprite was the ability to not have legs and to just drift wherever he wanted to go. Sure he had the big ostentatious wings. Wing and stump. Wing and stump and slowly-healing stab wound. Wing and stump and slowly-healing stab wound and unfading memories. Maybe he was glad he couldn’t sleep. Skaia knows if he closed his eyes for any length of time he’d probably be reliving that fight against the once Jack Noir… That final transformation…

Davesprite shook himself out of his reverie, glancing back at the dim rectangle of the doorway and beginning his gliding exit when Jade whimpered. The sound was so soft he froze, straining to listen. There was silence but for panting breaths but then she whimpered again. 

He couldn’t resist turning around, his long tail… legs? Whatever-it-was draping over the thrashing lump of her own legs as he settled in behind her, grateful once more for his floating sprite body. He tucked his wing stump in under himself and stretched his wing out over her blanket, nestling in around her like some feathery asshole with a single chick to take care of. Pup. Whatever. 

Jade’s flailing continued at first and Davesprite winced when one of her gardening-toughed elbows nailed him right in the chest hole. With a sigh he nestled in tighter, easing one arm under her head. Her dog ears went from being pinned back to relaxed and forward as her low whining quieted. He held her close until she went limp, snoring softly. His attempts to ease away made her tense up again so he resigned himself to keeping her company through the rest of the evening. 

It should have been boring, lying there for hours with nothing to do but watch and listen to Jade being asleep. 

Davesprite knew he should be bored. 

But her ears twitched occasionally, flicking forward and back as if they had a mind of their own. Her clearly-bad dreams had faded but still she murmured softly, mumbling gibberish as her limbs twitched, wiggling a bit. He wondered if she was chasing rabbits or having dreams of whatever her weird dog had chased. 

Sometimes he had bird thoughts, like the cawing he couldn’t quite suppress. It was strange to be an amalgam. He’d had a chance to talk about it with Jadesprite briefly, before alpha Jade had ascended to god tier and absorbed her. 

Sometimes he wondered what it would have been like if the real Dave had done the same. Well Davesprite wasn’t composed of dead Dave like Jadesprite had been. It wasn’t an option for real Dave. Plus he wouldn’t want real Dave to be part brainless feathery asshole. Better to leave that to the shitty imitation Dave. Might as well have a cut off wing and a hole and be feathery and shit if you were going to be a knockoff Dave. 

Jade whined softly, breaking him out of his contemplation. She was shivering and he tucked his wing over her more securely, pressing his face into the overabundance of her hair. Even throughout the hellish days and the multiple terrible situations, somehow she still smelled of pumpkins and grass. Well maybe she only smelled like that now. He’d never really had a chance to smell her hair before so he couldn’t really attest to how it used to smell. He’d always kind of imagined her smelling like flowers, but growing things were a close second in how he’d imagined her hair smelling. 

He realized she’d calmed again and gone into a deeper sleep while he’d been nuzzling her hair and zoning out. Davesprite sighed in annoyance at his distraction and impulsive behavior but decided he might as well continue. He tucked his arms in around her so he could lie as comfortably as possible and contented himself with relaxing into the warmth of her presence. 

He wondered if alpha Dave would ever understand the hell that he had been spared. Those months of knowing John was dead and Jade was probably dead. Grinding and killing and leveling so that he could come back and spare his alpha self the gnawing horror of dead best friends and a doomed timeline. As much as being the feathery broken knock off Dave felt like a sad parody of itself, the gift of a living Jade and John was well worth the sacrifice. 

\-----

The good thing about being a time player was that you never needed a watch. His impeccable internal time piece informed him that back when he had been in Texas, it would have been dawn and it was high time to high tail it out of here. He’d tell Jade about it soon, but for now he didn’t want to have to talk about it while snuggled all around her in her bed when she woke up. 

It took a bit of wiggling but soon he was loose, hovering upward and retreating back to the doorway. Davesprite paused, stretching out his arms and wings (well wing and wing stump) and watched her for long minutes. It had been such a pleasant night he was having a hard time letting it be over. He hovered in her doorway like a creepy staring feathery asshole until she began to make waking up sounds and rolled over. 

Davesprite fled, telling himself he just didn’t want to disorient her when she woke up. He’d tell her about it over breakfast. It wasn’t like he’d done anything weird. 

\-----

Davesprite was berating himself internally for being a coward and retreating with no explanation as he hovered near the breakfast table. He’d extricated himself from Jade’s bed a few minutes before to come down and chill with Nannasprite and her constant unceasing baking. Fortunately the consorts seemed to like weird sprite cookies so at least they all weren’t being absolutely buried in spectrally produced sweets. 

After the fifth Hoo Hoo Hoo of the morning Davesprite was starting to grumpily wonder just WHO was the bird here when John came padding in. 

Davesprite: you look like something the cat dragged in  
Jaspersprite: No i didnt!  
Davesprite: no jaspersprite not you its  
Davesprite: oh whatever  
Davesprite: but seriously john are you feeling ok  
John: grrrmmblsfrrrr.

John sat at the table and buried his face in his arms, slumped against the table and looking utterly defeated. Davesprite hesitated. 

In that doomed timeline, he had trained for months and months to be able to come back and save them all from a doomed universe, to save them all from John Egbert, flying doofus and pushover extraordinaire. He’d come back to prevent the creation of his entire timeline. There had been a lot of reasons to do it, including self-preservation and ultimate success in the game and the creation of a new universe, but if he was being honest with himself (as he so rarely was), Davesprite had come back, had chosen this half life as an impaled orange bird Dave because his best bro had been dead. Dave had trained with Rose in that doomed game for just the simple fact that by doing so he could create a timeline in which John Egbert was still alive. 

And now here was that same John Egbert, looking ready to keel over. 

Davesprite: do you think dying of exhaustion counts as heroic  
John: mrrmbll.  
Davesprite: real eloquent there egbert  
Davesprite: any more pearls of wisdom to share  
Davesprite: i may just be a shitty knockoff orange bird dave  
Davesprite: but im still here to help if you need it  
John: ...  
John: thanks buddy.

Davesprite hesitated, then ruffled the back of John’s head and drifted off out of the way as Nannasprite began the usual piling up of the prepared baked goods around John. John grimaced but munched some. 

Davesprite: so whats up with the not sleeping  
Davesprite: is that one of your new god powers  
Davesprite: floaty heir of insomnia  
Davesprite: narcolepsy powers activate  
John: look you’re my best bro, or like a copy of my best bro from a dead future timeline, plus some bird stuff, but dave you are being the opposite of helpful.  
John: so maybe shut your bird face.  
Davesprite: wow rude  
Davesprite: its like youve been tossing and turning and generally not sleeping for a few days and blasting friendly sprites with wind when they try to wake you up from your shouting nightmares  
John: *thump* rrrrmsff.  
Davesprite: and passing out into plates of cookies mid conversation

John had begun to snore lightly into his chocolate chip pillow when Jade bounced in, looking bright eyed and bushy eared and alarmingly energetic: in other words back to normal. 

Jade: good morning dave!!  
Davesprite: davesprite you mean  
Jade: that doesnt make you not dave!!  
Davesprite: im not though  
Davesprite: im like  
Davesprite: discount bargain dave  
Davesprite: when youre scraping the bottom of the dave barrel for the last of the dave dregs  
Jade: that doesnt make you not a dave!!  
Jade: plus you came back after doing all of that stuff to make sure john would live and i would get into the medium and that makes you such a dave!!  
Jade: no more talking about not being dave, dave!! :)  
Jade: why is john sleeping with his head on a pile of cookies?  
Davesprite: oh that  
Davesprite: well you see jade  
Davesprite: uh  
Davesprite: you and john havent been sleeping well since  
Davesprite: since sburb really  
Davesprite: and i dont sleep at all any more  
Davesprite: so im around  
Davesprite: (oh no this sounds so much worse out loud)  
Davesprite: i guess ill just drop it on you harley  
Davesprite: drop it like a sick beat  
Davesprite: so i came and roosted on you when you were whimpering last night  
Davesprite: just like got my mother bird instincts on  
Davesprite: tucked you all warm and shit under my feathery wing  
Davesprite: calmed you right down  
Davesprite: stopped all that whimpering and twitching  
Davesprite: sent you right off to happy snoozeville  
Davesprite: and it seems like thats why youre peppy as fuck  
Davesprite: the jade harley we know and love  
Davesprite: where johns passed out in a plate of cookies  
Davesprite: because he didnt get the soothing dave spooning  
Jade: so you came and sat on me while i was asleep?  
Davesprite: uhh  
Jade: i dont mind dave!!  
Jade: i feel so much better today  
Jade: thank you!! :)  
Davesprite: uhh youre welcome  
Jade: hmm do you think we should do the same for john??  
Jade: he looks terrible!! :(  
Davesprite: caw

Davesprite had hoped she would take it well but this was beyond belief but then again Jade Harley had always been a law unto herself. Before he could make another annoyingly involuntary bird sound though, Jade had used her freaky first guardian green glowing shit to zap herself, him, and John, the chair, and the table into John’s room.  
Another snap of her fingers and John was tucked into bed, and already was starting the toss, turn, sad noise routine that had worn Davesprite down until he was roosting on his friends. 

Jade: ok go ahead dave!!  
Davesprite: what  
Jade: roost! :)  
Jade: john needs sleep too.  
Davesprite: while you just stand here  
Davesprite: thats kind of weird jade  
Jade: ok fine!

Davesprite hovered disbelievingly as Jade just clambered into bed with the restless John, settling in face to face with him. Davesprite noted that one of the nice things about the god tier pajamas was that they were perfect to go back to sleep in. Jade, however, looked wide awake, her ears practically quivering as she glanced back over her shoulder at him. 

Jade: johns still restless!!  
Jade: your turn!!  
Jade: work your nesting instincts!!

He sighed but obeyed. Somehow he’d forgotten how strong-willed Jade could be in all those months without her. Even after coming back, he’d mostly kept away from his former friends. His purpose had been served. John was alive. Jade was alive. It was just the untidiness of chance that kept him from immediately poofing back out of existence where he belonged. Instead he had to hang around. Reminding everyone that there would always be a spare Dave around. Since one Dave was clearly not enough.

Davesprite realized Jade was frowning at him as he hovered over John. He sighed again and dropped down between John and the wall, wedging himself in there since with Jade in the bed too there wasn’t much room.

Already John was quieter, sandwiched between his paradox clone sister and the janky obsolete doomed side copy of his best bro.

Davesprite stretched out his wing, feeling a little smug when Jade’s eyes widened as his glowing orange wing settled over John and her, tucking in behind her back with a soft rustle of feathers. He wouldn’t let her fall out of John’s bed if he could help it.

John sighed, the tense shivering going away at last. Despite her earlier pep Jade was looking drowsy again too. Maybe one night’s rest wasn’t enough even for immeasurably powerful girls with dog ears. She had cuddled in against John while Davesprite mused, and was now sneakily working her arms around John’s waist. Davesprite flinched in surprise when her fingertips brushed against his stomach.

Jade actually giggled a little when Davesprite frowned at her for making too much fuss and risking waking up sleeping beauty. Sleeping beauty himself meanwhile had ceased resembling a mannequin and was taking on the floppy softness of a baby in its crib all snuggled up and snoring like a buzz saw going to town on some logs. Ever immune to normal human customs, Jade had buried her face in John’s chest and dropped off too, cuddled up against him like a matched set all tucked away in a drawer. Davesprite rolled his eyes behind his shades. That’s what happens when you’re raised by some fucking devilbeast on Hellmurder Island, you don’t know about stuff like how it’s weird to cuddle with your traumatized sleeping bff.

Davesprite cawed softly to himself and pulled the blankets up, tucking them in over the two sleepers before settling down his own self. He at least had the proper decorum to feel weird about all this spooning. It was only polite after all to feel awkward about putting your face in best bro’s bair while said bro was drooling on a pillow and snoring like some kind of denizen. Maybe wind powers amp up snoring? A higher pitched wheezing joined the alto rumble and Davesprite realized Jade was snoring too. What if John’s snoring was contagious? If all the fucking consorts start snoring Davesprite was going to spend way more time away from company.

He tucked his wing in over them, shutting his eyes and wishing he could drop off like the other two. Or maybe he didn’t. Somebody needed to keep watch over these two. Davesprite sighed and tentatively draped his arm over Jade’s, settling fully onto the bed and draping his tail thing over the pair of them. John's hair smelled like chocolate chip cookies, although John would probably hate that. If he didn't want to smell like baked goods though he shouldn't put his face in them. 

\-----

John: psst.  
John: psst jade.  
Jade: mmmwhat??  
John: so i think it’s evening and i’ve got you and dave sprite in bed with me. what happened this morning?  
Jade: mmmm go back to sleep this is comfy  
John: but…  
Jade: comfy  
Jade: sleep  
John: BUT…  
Davesprite: dude  
Davesprite: do you really gotta shout in jades face  
Davesprite: you passed out in your breakfast cookies  
Davesprite: so we are snuggling you into nontraumatic snoresville  
Davesprite: and i do mean snoresville literally  
Davesprite: i think theres a real chance you have some kind of medical condition  
Davesprite: or nasal passage logging camp  
Davesprite: real talk though it is time for more zs because those bags under your eyes are still pretty intense  
John: haha it’s so hard to take you seriously while i’m tucked under your wing and smooshed between you and jade!  
John: hmm...  
John: i think that was the first time i slept on this ship without dreaming about… stuff.  
John: i guess sleeping in a pile is the key!  
John: thanks buddy!  
Davesprite: we can talk after you visit snoresville some more  
Davesprite: take the guided tour and hit all the scenic spots  
Jade: woof  
Davesprite: yeah exactly  
John: FIIIINE!!  
John: but when i wake up we are having a talk about how i never snore ever.  
Davesprite: thats a crass lie egbert  
Davesprite: i am making a recording this time  
Davesprite: gonna prove the egbertian snore is loud and piercing  
Davesprite: and the harley snore is adorable and also resonates with my ear bones and maybe is going to shatter them  
Davesprite: and youre both asleep again already  
Davesprite: unbelievable


End file.
